Come back. Return. Remember. Where are your feet? My atmosphere is wide, like my liquids and veins, nerves, and digestive tract have stretched out across the Earth and have connected to places miles from where my body is. How did I expand so far out from my center? It seems my attention is digesting everything from Albuquerque to Egypt, in text messages, emails, relationships, planning, cleaning, tending, cooking, watering, writing, responding, worrying, and wondering. My goodness my first body can hold a lot.

I close my eyes and notice. No problem, no judgement, right here is what is. All Shall Be Well.

I remember my atmosphere and slowly invite all the places of my disparate attention back in close. No forcing, just a simple remembering that turns my many attentional heads back to the center and draws them back towards my hearth.

There’s a gentle presence asking me to trust that I can come back in, that for now All Shall Be Well. Return Amelia, come back in, this place is worthy of your attention.

There’s an ache that accompanies my collecting. How long was I out at sea? How long have I been away from home? Again I remember to notice, there’s no problem, no judgement, right here is what is. Breathe. Find my back body, rest into the seat of my being. I am here now.

Slowly a sense of ground, of presence returns and I am resting into something that is also resting into me. Like a water drop merging with another water drop, I feel myself rest back into my original home. 

Right Arm, Lord Have Mercy

Right Leg, Lord Have Mercy

Left Leg, Lord Have Mercy

Left Arm, Lord Have Mercy

Is it possible for my hands to cry? For my limbs to crack open as they are embraced in mercy? The ache of mercy as it’s received obliterates any of the pieces of me that were still holding on to wondering, “Am I enough?” Lord Have Mercy. It is almost too much for me to receive. There is no light as bright as the one that destroys my illusions.

Three rounds of Lord Have Mercy and my limbs are buzzing from receiving a grace that is beyond anything my self could conjure up or contain. 

The ache of returning to God pierces me as I breathe in this building energy “I” and send it down into all of me “Am.” The mercy received is bread for each of my centers. 

Is it possible to live from this Mercy? For world 24 to come crashing into 48, for my second body to lovingly swim into my first body, reminding it that mercy is the thread that binds them? This practice cannot remain only when my eyes are closed, this mercy is waves crashing on my day of emails reminding me that the question, “Am I enough?” is ready to be composted. Mercy is the force of rain that cracks open the seeds in me that have long been dry and yearning for a nourishment they didn’t know they needed. As my partner, Mike Petrow says, “Hell is not a place we avoid, it’s a place we invade,” this mercy invades my hells and if I can receive it, shows up as a reckoning that All Shall Be Well because doing or being enough was never in question.

May Mercy crash in on our days and may we find the resource to receive its nourishing obliteration of what no longer serves us.

*The Lord Have Mercy practice was taught to me by Heather Ruce, which was taught to her by Cynthia Bourgeault. The Lord Have Mercy exercise can be found in Cynthia’s book, “Mystical Courage,” on pages 11-24.

Author Amelia Weesies: I come into myself most easily in a forest, caught in a dance, and sitting in stillness. Questions intrigue me more than answers and I find this human experience to be endlessly curious. I am an aunt of 10 nieces, nephews, and niblings, I love donkeys, and am usually knitting. I’ve been a student of contemplation for the last 11 years, first through the practice of Vajrayana Buddhism and then through the mystical arts of the Christian Contemplative and Wisdom streams. I am a full-time graduate student pursuing a Master’s degree in Counseling and have an undergraduate degree in Indigenous Nations and Native American Studies.

“There is a deep and pristinely clear “something” in each one of us, regardless of the outer circumstances of our lives, that has the capacity to recognize Wisdom when we meet it, and it is the nature of Wisdom teaching to call this “something” forth.”

The above quote from Cynthia’s Wisdom Way of Knowing articulates my relationship with Wisdom that began with a surprising encounter seven years ago. One late night, while camping lakeside in British Columbia’s interior, I heard a feminine voice whisper my name. The whisper awakened me from my sleep, yet, I am only now beginning to understand how asleep I truly have been. While I had previously read many of Cynthia’s books and devoured every page, I kept her teachings on the Wisdom tradition at a distance. I concluded the kenotic path I read about in Wisdom Jesus was for the spiritually mature, or people committed to full-time monastic life. I preferred to hide behind my ego story that I was too young, and life’s responsibilities consumed my capacity for the Wisdom path.  In the fall of 2023, when I received an invitation to register for the Holding our Planet Wisdom School, something within me responded with an immediate yes. I had no idea what was saying yes to, and admittedly, I was a bit terrified, but I listened to the deeper “something” within. 

Attending Holding our Planet in May 2024 marked the beginning of waking up to Wisdom. While I fumbled around on the movement’s floor, and listened to teachings on Gebser, Teilhard and Gurdjieff for the first time, I sensed a deep aliveness flowing through my being. As I continue to learn, the Wisdom path is not the latest self-improvement project that feeds my ego needs and preferences. Wisdom practices are a radical wake up in consciousness as I bump up against the constrictions of everyday life, and surrender to the indwelling presence of the Great I am. As Cynthia teaches, it is through the hard edges we experience on this planet that creates the conditions for Divine love to manifest. 

This past year, saying yes to Wisdom included a weekly practice circle with Heather Ruce. This small community committed to the Wisdom path has become a sacred tether in my life. Through the exercises guided by Heather, and weekly support of the circle, I am learning to become more rooted in a Greater Self, and gaining deeper awareness of the atmosphere I exist within. My aim this year has been working with trust. When I am grounded within my deeper Self, the natural flow outwardly is an atmosphere of trust, regardless of external circumstances. As I work with the exercises throughout the week, even small moments of re-membering throughout the day, I sense a qualitative difference in the energy of trust. When I react mechanically out of my smaller self, trust feels conditional, constricted, and dependent on outer relationships. When I am rooted in my deeper Self, trust is free, abundant, and detached from whatever may be occurring in my life. I can feel deeply, including hurt and fear, yet I am slowly learning to let go of my ego story, and become more conscious of the Great I am within.

One Wisdom practice Heather guided us through, and one that I am beginning to integrate more deeply in daily life is nurturing a conscious relationship between first and second body. During the exercise, it was deeply moving to notice my second body acknowledging first body with “I trust you” and first body responding, “I know.” As we later shared our experience with each other, one person in the circle noted how beautiful it would be if we practiced the same kind of exchange in all our relationships. Her words were deeply inspirational and I imagined the tender exchange of my second body relating with another’s second body in that in-between energetic field beyond language. I decided to experiment with the practice over the next few weeks in my own relationships. 

The past two years my aging parents have needed increasing care. My mother has early dementia and my father’s health is in steady decline. Both relationships have been a source of pain, and for most of my adult life, I protected myself with emotional distance. As I work with the Wisdom practices, and learn to live more rooted in my deeper Self, I notice a softening of love and trust in my heart towards my parents, specifically my father. Nothing has changed outwardly in our relationship, yet, in some deeper way, I notice a difference in our energy exchange. There are moments when I sense my second body’s compassion for my father that does not react to his fear and frustrations, but holds a peaceful container for both of us. Perhaps my father’s own second body has become more alive in him as he faces the end of his time on earth? As my mother’s cognition continues to decline, there is hope I can continue to lovingly relate with her, second body to second body. 

There is something clear and pristine in each one of us that recognizes Wisdom when we meet it. I recently shared in the practice circle that, at times, the Wisdom path feels like learning how to skate as a child. My hands desperately cling to the training bar that gives an illusion of safety from falling, yet limits my capacity to skate freely on my own! The more I loosen the grip of my protective shell (my ego story, my mechanical reactivity), the more I taste the exhilarating freedom of skating on my own, including the painful falls. Perhaps each messy moment and fall in my day to day life are sacred opportunities to re-member something more. 

Author: Kellie Brown is a spiritual director from the West Coast of British Columbia and provides spiritual care for a non-profit engaged in dismantling systemic barriers for youth. Kellie has a Masters in Theology, yet now seeks an informal education directly from the land she calls home; on the beautiful territory of the Sinixt and Interior Salish people. With children now living in other cities, Kellie and her spouse Rory devote their energy into creating a retreat space at their home on Christina Lake, BC. Their passion is to invite others to form a loving reciprocal relationship with the earth, and experience the Divine in all.  

A few days ago, I parked at the flower shop, and before stepping out of my car, I filled my arms with all the things I needed to carry in. I was determined to take only one trip!

I managed to open the door while juggling my container of butter chicken, bag of naan bread, purse, and water bottle even while switching out my sunglasses for my regular glasses by putting one pair between my teeth. As I walked up to the front counter, one of my staff asked me a question which required me to look at my phone to answer.

I pulled my phone out of my purse, which was strapped over my head and doing so bumped my glasses out of my mouth onto the floor. I turned to try to catch my glasses as if I was Spider-Man, but bumped a box full of rubber bands onto the floor, as if I was human.

Without trying to set anything down, I squatted down to pick up my glasses and clean up the rubber bands. But I only got so far down into the squat before my left hip gave a little tweak and I sat down hard on the floor.

I wasn’t injured! But as I was going down, I realized what I had done. I realized how far from myself I was, how asleep!  And I started to laugh! I laughed as I awkwardly and almost in slow motion ended up lying on my back on the floor, surrounded by rubber bands, butter chicken, naan bread, my purse and sunglasses. I laughed so hard I cried, and felt my back on the cool linoleum, and my tears warm on my cheeks. Slowly coming back to my body.

My staff thought I must be going crazy, and was worried I was hurt, but pretty soon they were laughing too.  Don’t we all do this sometimes?! Fill our arms and our heads with an unrealistic load. And when we are forced by reality to set it all down, I hope we can all laugh at ourselves.

Author: Laura is a homeschool mother of four, living in Manitoba, Canada.  She owns and manages Earth Buds Florist with her best friend.  Between home and the flower shop she is grateful for abundant opportunities to practice what she’s learning in Wisdom work.  Part of her current practice is learning not to take herself so seriously.