Wish: Inner Task Series by Vesna Nikolic

In one of the previous tasks, I wrote that the overall aim of the tasks is to prepare the vessel, all parts of it, such that it can participate more fully in the cosmic exchange.

And the question arose – how do I participate within the larger whole? What is needed? What is it that wishes to come into the world through me? What service is possible if I step back and become responsible?

I know that my practice is essential and necessary, but for sure I am not here to become a ‘good practitioner’ and excel in performing ‘weekly tasks’.

Mme de Salzmann said, “You don’t love yourself enough, the Self that needs and wishes to emerge” [1]. What is it that wishes to emerge through me? Why did all the forces of the universe conspire and go through all the trouble to create such an extraordinary instrument – my body (including all centers) – to walk here on Earth for a brief period of time? How can I stay true to its purpose? What am I responsible for?

While I wish not to be attached to my actions and to the results of my actions, it matters where the impulse for them comes from, it matters how they are performed, and it matters that they are performed. It matters that I act. With as much of myself that I can gather. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might” [2]

As usual, my idea of what I ‘should’ be doing gets in the way. Can I remain quiet and still – such that that the ‘still small voice’ within can be heard, so that it is It who guides my actions moment by moment?

My thinking center wishes to have the entire thing figured out. But this is not how things are set up, it cannot be ‘figured out’. Try as you wish, dear Ego. ”No man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end” [3]

I wish to be more sensitive to the stirrings that arise within my body. When they come – they are unmistakable, they carry clarity and quiet force.

In “The Search”, Ouspenksy talks about how new realizations tend to come to us.“

All new powers and capacities of realization come always in one and the same way. At first, they appear in the form of flashes at rare and short moments; afterwards, they appear more often and last longer until, finally, after very long work they become permanent. The same thing applies to awakening. It is impossible to awaken completely all at once. One must first begin to awaken for short moments. But one must die all at once and forever after having made a certain effort, having surmounted a certain obstacle, having taken a certain decision from which there is no going back. This would be difficult, even impossible, for a man, were it not for the slow and gradual awakening which precedes it.” [4]

And finally, for all of us who believe or secretly hope that our actions must be ‘grand’ if they are to have a lasting impact, I share the words from Meister Eckhart’s ‘The Master’s Final Words’ , the wisdom he said “comprises all truth that can be spoken or lived”. [5]

“It often happens that what seems trivial to us is greater in God’s sight than what looms large in our eyes. Therefore, we should accept all things equally from God. Not ever looking or wondering which is greater, or higher, or better. We should just follow where God points out for us, that is, what we are inclined to and to which we are most often directed, and where our bent is. If a man were to follow that path, God would give him the most in the least, and would not fail him.” [5]

The task for this week is to pause at least three times a day.

Connect with your breath, your heartbeat and your feet on the ground. Ask yourself gently “what is it that wishes to arise through me, how can I serve?” Just listen gently. Stay with the question.

During the day, try to stay connected with your body and try to notice the stirrings within, they carry a message.

As we celebrate the passage from Life to Death to Love.

Love to All.

Here is the poem for this week. ~ by Robert Browning

Truth is within ourselves;
it takes no rise from outward things, what e’er you may believe.
There is an inmost center in us all,
Where truth abides in fullness . . . and to know,
Rather consists in opening out a way
Whence the imprisoned splendor may escape,
Than in effecting entry for a lightsupposed to be without. [6]

[1] See “Heart Without Measure”, Ravi Ravindra
[2] Ecclesiastes 9:10
[3] Ecclesiastes 3:11
[4] See “In Search of the Miraculous”, page 219
[5] See “The Complete Mystical Works of Meister Eckhart”, translated by Maurice O’C Walshe
[6] Robert Browning “Paracelsus 13”